You’ll see me at the local pet store, gazing at fish, misty eyed with a quivering lip. I get emotional around fish tanks.

I used to have a dentist and he had a big, beautiful fish tank in his lobby.

It was so calming. I would stare at it while I waited to get my teeth drilled.

And that dentist came to my graduation party and was there when I got married. I’ve never met another dentist who loved their patient as much as they loved their patient’s teeth.

And though I never met him in real life, Mr. Rogers felt like an adult who cared deeply about me as well. On his show Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood he made sure to always linger in front of his fish tank for a moment.

As a kid, it didn’t seem like he was stressed out by what was happening in the world – oil embargoes, worldwide recessions, violence and chaos – he always had time and never forgot to feed the fish.

Then there was my own dad, who built a fish tank and placed it in our living room. It was filled with also kinds of colorful fish, names I can’t remember, but whose sight brings back deep childhood memories.

Our fish tank went through multiple iterations. There was the tropical fish phase, as well as the local fish phase. At one point he filled it with freshwater fish caught from a lake nearby. My first pet was a catfish named Mr. Whiskers. And when I caught pneumonia and had to be out of school for several weeks, dad mischievously let me fish out of the tank using one of his small ice fishing rods.

Now that I’m an adult, it occurs to me how much time he must’ve spent to maintain that fish tank. It is slow and deliberate work that requires diligent effort to ensure the tank is clean, the fish are fed, and the filter is clear.

I now associate fish tanks with the love of my dad, as well as other adults who, even though they were busy and stressed, always had time for me. Maybe that’s the reason I get choked up around them.

***

Those memories illustrate a powerful spiritual lesson for me.

When it comes to this life, we are like fish in the tank. We are swimming in God’s love: living, breathing, and being maintained by our Provider.

For love is the deepest reality in the universe.

This is not to say that the tank never gets cloudy. For most of human history we’ve been swimming in murky, dirty waters. Algae covers the glass and rocks, making it difficult to perceive God’s grace. The misery and pain of life on Earth hinders mankind from seeing that we’re still floating in the Creator’s care.

Some religious practices are helpful in opening our eyes to reality. Things like hospitality, service, prayer, scripture, fellowship, silence, solitude and examen bring greater awareness to the grace we’re swimming in.

These practices in no way earn us love. How could they? For that is already true reality. They simply clean the water and focus our attention on the love we already inhabit.[1]

***

Parenting your own children is very humbling. You try to pass on the good things your parents did, while also feeling more empathetic towards the mistakes they made.

The fish tank gives me hope that the small things we do for our children may lodge deeply inside of them. And though our actions seemingly make no impact in the short term, who knows if our efforts won’t spout and grow into something life-giving over the course of many years and decades?

Though my dad could not have known it at the time, his fish tank hobby and the wonder it brought to us kids was demonstrating something deep about God and the universe. Perhaps it was God speaking through my dad, who spoke through the fish and the water.

While fish tanks remind me of a father’s love, the wider universe reflects the care and attentiveness of a creator. Jesus once said if people keep quiet, the stones will cry out.[2] For me, those stones were the colored pebbles at the bottom of our family’s aquarium.

NOTES

[1] Bible book of Galatians chapter 2 Christianity has hotly debated this very point for thousands of years. I was relieved and delighted to read through the book of Galatians in the Bible, which is an angry, ranting letter written by St. Paul after he becomes embroiled in a nasty and very public dispute with St. Peter. They are battling over this very question – does God really love us or do we need to do something extra to earn it? That “something” they were debating, by the way, was male circumcision, which gracefully churches no longer require for membership!

[2] Bible book of Luke chapter 19 verse 40

Fish Tank

NOTES