Most nights while eating dinner our family does a modified version of the examen prayer. We call it “High Low Buffalo” In other words, what was the high point of your day? What was the low point of your day? And what’s your buffalo today, i.e. something extra you want to tell the family?

This helps us remember the good in each day and also acknowledge the hard things that happened. It helps us to take stock of each moment and not let life slip by unnoticed.

High low buffalo can be applied to a day, or a year, a season in life, and even specific activities we do.

Last weekend I went to Shanghai for 6 days. It was a quick trip - arriving in Pudong Wednesday afternoon and getting back to Detroit Monday evening. So much happened in such a short period of time, so I wanted to share my high low buffalo with you.

Xin Hua Subdistrict - the Old Neighborhood

Low: A Collective Sadness

Though we generally begin this exercise with a high, I’ll begin with the low in order to end on a more hopeful note.

Within ten seconds of stepping off the plane in Shanghai I perceived a collective sadness in the air. At first, I thought I was imagining this. But days into my trip and being in conversations all day long confirmed that this was in fact real. There is a grief that everyone seems to be experiencing together in Shanghai right now.

The pandemic was traumatic in ways different to what we experienced in the US. I could tell this by how everyone talked about their time in lockdown. The stories were vague and fragmented. I was surprised by friends who didn’t seem to grasp how much time had gone by. A lot of stories and memories seemed to blur together. Some wanted to just “move on” when it came up in conversation whereas others seemed fixated and stuck in that period. Eerily, there was no physical evidence of the COVID era remaining out in public - the testing booths all gone, very few masks, no more health codes. All that remains are these psychological scars people carry around.

Everyone seemed to be experiencing some level of grief. But the grief was about more than just the COVID years. Shanghai is changing.

When we were there from 2009 to 2018 the city could be harsh and beautiful at the same time. There was a stunning optimism about the future and an expectation of growth from one year to the next. It seemed like back then everybody had a dream, a business plan, or a new idea for something to pursue. Those days of explosive growth were never going to be sustainable indefinitely, yet they lasted a long time.

There is a sadness that the “old days” are over, and a nervousness about what the new reality looks like.

High: Seeds of Something New

There seemed to be a general consensus that the “heyday” was over - whatever that means. In a way, this grief about the old days was something I experienced after moving to the US in 2018. We went through all the stages of grief - a long process of acknowledging and releasing a certain season of life. And at the end of that process, when the dust finally settled, we could see a new season emerging before our eyes.

My friends there may have trouble seeing it, but on my trip I sensed there is an exciting new chapter that Shanghai is entering into in its development. The city seems to have matured. All the little things we used to comment on “Why do they do this? They should do THIS instead!” Many of these things are now common practice. The city is far cleaner, more organized. It moves at a slower pace from what I can tell.

It’s like our rambunctious 20-something grew up and accomplished all it set out to do. And it’s asking itself “Now what?”

Or maybe that’s all just my own projections onto the city.

But I do sense something new and I am looking for opportunities to re-engage. Our family can say at this point that we’re rooted in Detroit, but it would be nice to get out to Shanghai once or twice a year. I think there is still a role for us to play in the story of this great city.

So it’s not over, it’s done! It’s just different.

They now have Baijiu flavored Ice Cream! Barf!!

They made a museum in case you can’t remember what happened last night….

Buffalo: A Gift

Really this trip was such a gift. It was short yet the days felt full. I saw lots of old friends, went to my old church on Hengshan Lu, got to do three comedy shows in one weekend, got to celebrate my 40th birthday at our favorite restaurant in Shanghai (云之缘). It was incredible.

But the simple joys mattered a lot on this trip too. Just speaking to people in Mandarin, having those little friendly interactions on the street, brought me a lot of joy. It was a relief to know that the connection I have to this place is still there, the language is so deep in me that none of it has been forgotten, and China continues to ignite my cultural curiosity.

I got lost walking around a few times. Many of my old haunts and familiar hangouts have been demolished and rebuilt. But the streets were like wrinkles on the face of an old friend, and it was so so good to see them again.

High, Low, Buffalo

Low: A Collective Sadness

High: Seeds of Something New

Buffalo: A Gift