Do you have the sinking feeling that Travel Sports are America’s biggest scam and you have been got? If so, listen to that small, still voice in your head. Your spirit is speaking to you.

Think about it. You bust your ass all week, working hard, earning money, trying to scratch out a living in this economy. And when the weekend finally rolls around you want to relax but instead your kid has a tournament. So you travel to God-forsaken places like Sarasota Florida, Akron Ohio, Bowling Green Kentucky, and Albany New York - to watch your kid play sports with other kids.

Your Saturday morning happy place has been transformed into the parking lot of La Quinta, your Saturday afternoon happy hour is Orange Slices and bored parents in camping chairs. And the worst part about it - you pay someone else to have this experience!

Here at the Bright DrewTopian Future blog, we give it to you straight. Unlike those other mainstream, corporate blogs which are merely shills for the culture at large, we give our readers JUST THE FACTS, NO SPIN.

So the following statement might seem a little harsh, but we have your best interests as a loyal reader in mind:

We’ve seen your kid play. They’re really not that good…

I mean, believe me your kid is one of the better kids on this little league team, but he ain’t gonna be playing D Tackle for the New England Patriots one day. Just put that idea right out of your head.

Let’s be honest, your kid isn’t getting a scholarship to Clemson (even partial), there’s no chance of NIL money from Miami (of Ohio), even Roanoke-Chowan Community College called back and said their roster is all set for the year.

So you’ve got to let it go. Little Timmy isn’t the next Lionel Messi. He’s not even the next Benjamin Cremaschi actually.

Come out of denial. You’re tired and broken. You don’t need to pay thousands of dollars to watch these kids mindlessly chase a ball. You could just as easily watch them chase a ball from the comfort of your back patio while you knock out a few shandys.

You’re probably feeling hopeless. You want to make a change, but you just don’t know how.

And we want you to know that we know how you feel. And hope for a brighter future is here today.

If you’re a faithful reader of this blog, the answer to your woes has actually been right in front of you for many years…

You need to pull your kids out of travel sports and get them into standup comedy IMMEDIATELY.

Think about it, it’s a perfect fit for your kid.

They’re untalented? Well standup comedy doesn’t require talent!

I mean, sure, there’s plenty of talented comedians - some of whom succeed and many of whom fail.

But you see, comedy, unlike travel baseball, soccer, or football is SUBJECTIVE. There’s no endzone, there’s no back of the net, there’s no three-point line.

“What about laughter?” you say “Isn’t laughter objective?”

Laughter schmaughter! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder friend.

So what some may say is “lame jabber that, at best, belongs on a podcast”, others say is content ready for a comedy special. Or what doubters often call “a highly attractive person who is not at all funny, but refreshing to the eyes”, bookers call “a hilarious comic ready to sell out a weekend of shows at my club.”

So talent is not necessary.

And your kid will still be gone several nights a week pursuing their dream of fame.

“But that sounds awful” you say “Why would I want to go watch a bunch of talentless hacks and gorgeous models crack jokes?”

That’s the beauty of standup comedy. Unlike travel sports, PARENTS DON’T GO. In fact, it’s kind of a running theme in many comics’ material.

You’ll no longer be huddled around bored, exhausted parents in camping chairs, watching little Timmy’s team lose a lopsided soccer match. No more carpooling the neighbor’s idiot kids. You can just stay home and do whatever you want.

And if, for some reason you DO decide to go watch your kid do standup, it’s still way better than travel sports because you won’t have to drink in secret anymore.

Let’s be honest, we see you holding your travel mug on the sidelines. Three in the afternoon seems a tad late in the day for a coffee, doesn’t it…?

What’s in that YETI of yours anyhow?

It’s ok, we hear the ice cubes clinking around in your “ice coffee”... we don’t judge

But at a comedy show you can come out of the closet and be who you really are. In fact, they require it! Two drink MINIMUM, that’s a solid start to gird yourself for what lies ahead.

In conclusion, are you ready to make a change starting today? We see your silent suffering and we know that you’ve been struggling for a while.

We know change is difficult, but it won’t be the end of everything. Some things will stay the same. Your kids can still travel to God-forsaken places like Sarasota and Akron.

But some things will be different too. As comics, once they arrive in Akron, they’ll have to crash on the couch of their opener or stay the night in a Holiday Inn Express (if they’re successful).

But you won’t be there anymore my friend. You’ll have drawn a healthy boundary. You’ll have taken steps towards restoring the weekend you lost so many years ago and hope for a brighter future.

Hope for a Brighter Future