“Jesus for president” is a phrase that gets wheeled out every once in a while. To many, it’s nothing more than a bumper sticker or corny t-shirt. It’s a fun voting season gimmick for people in the US.

Yet again we are in the midst of an American presidential election, our once every four years tradition of collective angst and anxiety, mixed with the drama of daytime soap operas and WWE-type plotlines. During this particularly dim election, with its lack of compelling candidates, “Jesus for president” is making a nice comeback.

But there are many valid reasons Jesus is not qualified to hold the highest office in the land. Most notably, he is not a natural born citizen, in fact I heard he doesn’t even have a valid visa.

Besides this, he doesn’t meet the minimum age requirement of 35 years old (there is currently no maximum age requirement). And also, though it is rude to mention, let’s be honest - Jesus doesn’t speak English very well. The beard and heavy accent are already off putting to most voters, and he really struggles to get his point across unless it’s in Aramaic. So how could this guy ever DREAM of being president? I mean, come on, can you imagine press conferences being run through an interpreter? Surely we learned our lesson with the Ohtani debacle.

Also, Jesus is frustratingly apolitical. He always seems to take a hard pass on the latest trending issue or burgeoning outrage. He’s not a partisan, a party man, a culture warrior. Perhaps the most political statement of his career was in response to a question about paying taxes to the empire which militarily occupied his Palestinian homeland: “give to Caesar what is Caesar’s, give to God what is God’s”. Caesar’s image is engraved on those little Roman coins, so give Caesar his silly little coins back. God’s image is engraved on the human soul, so give God a life of love, joy and service to others.

If you aren’t an American of voting age, you owe nothing to this election. But if you are, give to Caesar what is Caesar’s. Take the time to research your candidates and make the best decision for yourself on election day. That’s what you owe.

But at the same time, don’t overpay Caesar. You owe him a few thoughtful check marks on a slip of paper this November 5th. But our headspace, our mindset, what we talk about and focus on, our daily conversations and interactions with those around us, how we choose to view the world - these belong to us. We don’t owe Caesar our constant attention. Instead, we can make a choice whom to model life after, who to follow as a true leader. The choices for US president are limited, but who or what will occupy the oval office of your heart are limitless.

So this piece is addressed to all those ‘undecided’ voters out there, and let me first speak directly to your qualms and concerns. Maybe you’re an atheist, or a hedonist, or nihilist or a realist. Maybe you’re a libertarian or a communist, or a die-hard Buffalo Bills fan. Maybe you’re a partaker in one of the world’s “major” religions, just not a registered Christian. “Are Muslims even allowed to vote for Jesus in the primary? I thought we had to choose from one of our own candidates.” Regardless of your religious background or current beliefs, let me make a brief pitch to you for Jesus for President.

Reason #1: Jesus was relatable

If we can admit it to ourselves, we want a leader who is not only capable but relatable. Someone who is a great communicator on the grand stage, but can also be personable in more intimate spaces. Candidate Christ was the kind of person who would talk your ear off over a few glasses of red wine. Apparently he was a good hang. So much so that religious people gossiped that he was “a glutton and a drunkard”, a lover of parties, and a “friend of sinners”.

He also had an uncanny ability to remember names and faces, as well as the rare trait of being able to give you his undivided attention when you’re together. In terms of background, he came from a solid, working class family. People who knew the value of a hard days work, and weren’t afraid to roll up their sleeves and “get sh*t done” (as the saltier of our politicians like to say nowadays). He was OF the people and FOR the people, and connected with folks from all different backgrounds and socioeconomic stratas.

But he was a real person too. Sometimes he’d had enough, he got a little burned out, or people started to get on his nerves. He didn’t pretend not to be angry or irritated, or try to robotically push through his campaign schedule. He knew when to step away. This man worked hard, but he wasn’t always working.

We unfairly expect our leaders to be almost superhuman with their work schedules. But he was very comfortable saying “I’m taking a few days away to recharge, y’all are more than able to figure things out while I’m gone.”

What a novelty.

Reason #2: Jesus was a unity candidate

His inner circle was a lot of tumultuous people who hated each other - rabid nationalists and people who collaborated with the occupiers, as well as corrupt employees of the IRS, Judas Iscariot, John (who was a real piece of work), and some brothers who ran a small business together. Have you ever seen the knock-down drag-out fights and shouting matches that ensue when family members try to WORK together!?

And yet on their big campaign, Jesus sends his disciples out two by two. And how do you suppose he pairs them up? With the ones that trigger them the most of course! All day long, for weeks on end Jesus’ hate filled disciples go door to door flyering the neighborhood, practically tied together at the ankle with the folks who make them the angriest in this world.

In our era of echo chambers, isolation, and overall division to a dysfunctional level, Jesus offers a method of uncomfortable, and ultimately healing interactions and dialogue that can bring unity (which is not the absence of conflict!) to our fractured society.

Reason #3: Jesus never pandered

My favorite coffee mug was gifted to me by a friend. On its side are written the words, “I’ve got 99 problems and WHITE HETERONORMAITVE PATRIARCHY are basically all of them.” Its messaging is simple and clever. When I publicly drink of this cup, there is a universally triggering element to it all. The more right-leaning of those around me look on in disgust. They assume I’m a real liberal snowflake to be proudly drinking out of a mug like that. Somebody who cares about stuff on the “woke agenda” (They’d be right. After all, snowflakes are ephemeral and beautiful, enjoy them while they’re here). And the more left-leaning of those around me look on in disgust as well. Here’s a straight, white, male (a pastor nonetheless), grinning idiotically as he ironically sips from his favorite mug. Only someone who is clearly part of the problem would dare take such serious issues so lightly by flippantly sipping house blend in a trolling manner.

Pardon the comparison, but this is Jesus’ messaging in a nutshell. Just when you think “he’s our guy” he goes and says something that is the equivalent of my mug. He doesn’t shy away from offending you, upsetting you, turning the focus from your enemies to you. “Turn the other cheek”, “Walk the extra mile”, “Pull the plank out of your own eye”, “You without sin throw the first stone”. These are terrible campaign slogans and that’s why he should be in charge.

Reason #4: Jesus was a progressive and Jesus was a conservative

Progressive energy and conservative energy - it’s not one or the other. As has been pointed out many times, if you have too much progressive energy the result is chaos and unnecessary pain. People can only handle so much change and uncertainty at once. But, if you have too much conservative energy the result is rigidity, stagnation, a system that becomes unresponsive.

Jesus was most certainly a progressive in his time. He displayed a radical inclusivity with the makeup of his followers and donors - women, children, gentiles, outcasts. In terms of progression, he was always pushing the line forward. If he were around today, you’d see him sitting in meetings with some of the most progressive folks out there. People that, quite frankly, would shock us to see him around.

But Jesus was also a conservative, so much so that he often out-conservatived the conservatives. The ten commandments handed down to Moses were Israel’s version of our Bill of Rights. Jesus, being the true conservative he was, recognized the intention behind these wisdom filled laws as well as their proper application. With laws like, “thou shalt not kill”, “thou shalt not steal”, “honor thy father and thy mother”, conservatives were content to just check a box, but Jesus forced them to go deeper. People of his day were obsessed with the letter of the law above the spirit of these laws and he exposed that.

There now seems to be a deep chasm between conservatives and progressives in America. Conservatives pointing out we don’t have to tear everything down that’s been built or reinvent the wheel every few years. We can still be rooted in something that’s old, deep, and wise. And progressives maintaining that things can’t stay the same forever. There are problems, deep problems, and we should try to make things better for those that come after us.

Both viewpoints are important, and Jesus is able to galvanize both groups.

Reason #5: Jesus exhibited visionary leadership

He never became a loathsome old man, clinging to power, hungry for more. Three years into his work life things finally started to turn around and it seemed like big things were about to happen. This was the pinnacle of his power and also the exact moment he chose to leave. Of all the healings, speeches, and decisions, this was perhaps his most brilliant strategic move - rather than consolidate power, instead diffuse it amongst this small group of men and women that had been learning under his tutelage for the past three years. It is reminiscent of George Washington’s decision to step down after two terms, when many wouldn’t have minded if he kept going. Or the quote from Jesus in the gospel of John, “Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.”

He knew that power is elusive, unless it is freely given up. And then it is very powerful indeed.

So what do you think?

Give to Caesar what is Caesar’s and God what is God’s.

Jesus for President: He can’t run the country, but he’s certainly a great candidate.

Put your thoughts and comments below and share this article with other “undecided” friends.