On no longer being able to talk to God... (after seeing Yahweh)

“I want to know you, I want to see your face, I want to know you more…” thus goes the song my teenage, pre-Hillsong heart sang out.

At some point along the way, my adult self started taking those words literally and I began to practice what I call imaginative prayer.

I’m going to venture to guess more people do this than let on. In the same way that so many people I have talked to view the Holy Spirit in the feminine in their personal prayer life, but don’t talk about it publicly. Similarly, imaginative prayer is so deeply personal that it would require a significant amount of vulnerability to share it with others. Simply because these are moments that are yours. For you, and not for anyone else.

A few of my moments I am going attempt to articulate here; for those of you who haven't yet tried it for yourself. Ah, dear bless little Lisa as I may reveal myself to be, but some things are too good to keep to oneself.

It's because of this practice that I have dropped God-language in my written and verbal reference to Yahweh. This wasn’t an intentional decision, so much as it just started to feel so very unnatural to speak to someone who was so engaged in my life, in such impersonal terms. It led me to look for new language to relate to the Holy Three.

Michael Heiser in his book Unseen Realm, affirms this natural movement toward referring to Yahweh by name. He teaches us that the term for God is Elohim in the Hebrew Old Testament and Theos in the Greek New Testament. It is a term that refers to any inhabitant of the spiritual realm: angels, demons, gods of nations, and the like. It is a category title, not a name, revealing only that there is an animate, spiritual world in which Yahweh is a member.

What does this mean for our understanding of monotheism? It means that when we read phrases like none beside me, or none like me it's not denying the existence of other gods, rather it’s telling us that Yahweh, Israel's God, was unique in this realm—He’s the uncreated Creator of these other spiritual beings and superior to them in His attributes. That’s why we also see El-Elyon, which means God Most High. In the ancient world, the Elohim ruled over nations and inhabited the heavenly realm which paralleled our earthly reality and overlapped with it; when there is a war on earth, it's because the gods of the nations are at war. This was the spiritual worldview of the ancient near east, and anyone reading or listening to their Hebrew bible in the 1st century understood this.

“Even though there may be so-called gods in heaven or on earth—as in fact there are many gods and many lords, yet for us, there is one God, the Father, from whom are all things and for whom we exist, and one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom are all things and through whom we exist”

-1 Corinthians 8:5-6

Trevor Noah prophetically nails this understanding (and our lack thereof) in his fabulous stand-up piece on How the British took over India. If you haven't already, take a few minutes to watch this now, or come back to it later.

Yahweh, El-Elyon, Jehovah Shalom, what, then, does your name mean?

The Hebrew name Yahweh itself is gender-neutral. The beginning, Yah, is feminine and the end, weh, is masculine. This reveals more of the mystery of the I am who I am that we glimpsed at in my previous post on Wisdom Sophia (see On being mothered by the one who mother's us all)

Yet, in the Lord’s prayer, Jesus gave us a Father, along with other metaphors such as King and Husband. Therefore, biblical writers have gone with the masculine when referring to Yahweh, even though many scholars agree that Yahweh is both and neither. Holding this mystery very lightly, thus have I.

Since raw holiness would destroy a person, Yahweh condescends to show, as it were, only that of Yahweh that we fragmentary humans can bear, comprehend and assimilate.

-Walter WinK-

Jewish scribes, not wanting to say the name of Yahweh, gave Him the name of Adonay or Jehovah to convey the idea of being, or existing, and becoming known.

This is where imaginative prayer comes in. How does Yahweh Jehovah make Himself known to us?

I've discovered a new pair of glasses, that is, my healthy imagination, that reveals Yahweh's divine world that is alive, in and all around us.

Albert Einstein affirms a healthy imagination...imagination is more important than knowledge, he says. I think, perhaps, another way of saying this is that imagination is another form of knowledge, or way of seeing. When it's combined with robust theology, it is powerful. This is further affirmed by church mystics such as St. Francis of Assisi, as well as Bishop St. Francis De Sales in the 17th century in his influential book on the spiritual life Introduction to the Devout Life...

...It is not possible to pray without employing the imagination and the understanding. This imagination, however, ought to be quite simple, serving as a sort of needle with which to thread affections and resolutions into our mind. This is the great road, from which we should not take leave until the light of day is a little brighter and we can see the little paths. It is true that these imaginings should not be tangled up in too many particularities, but should be simple.

However, A warning about the consequences of imaginative prayer. That is, once one starts wearing these glasses, it becomes difficult to take them off and return to traditional prayers; before meals, with friends, with small groups, and even listening to public prayers in church.

While the value of corporate prayer draws us all to the same source, the language, and tones we have become used to begin to feel…meh? So much less than what our imagination reveals. Written or liturgical prayers can help us find words when our hearts can’t find them. In imaginative prayer, one no longer needs words. When one rises to the challenge to look for the Divine in the monotony of one’s life; it becomes personal. Very personal. Broken pieces begin to heal. And there’s no going back.

So, who is this Yahweh, Abba, Father mystery I have come to know through imaginative prayer? He is One who is our desire and inspiration to create, to build, restore and heal... musician, teacher, stand-up comic, artist, lawyer, house cleaner, homemaker. All of it.

…When I am listening to music, He is engulfed in the music, playing every instrument. He starts on the guitar, then throws it up in the air (where it disappears) and next thing you know he playing the fiddle, then next the drums, then next the tin whistle (yes I like folk and bluegrass).

…When I am feasting with friends, there He is, at the table with us. When He’s not eating and drinking and thoroughly enjoying every bite or pretending to depending on who is cooking, He is up and serving our plates and refilling our cups and listening to the one who didn’t get a chance to speak.

…When I am sitting in my armchair writing; there He is, sitting with His legs crossed in the armchair next to me.

…When I tell him what I think about something, He reflects quietly. My thoughts are considered.

And once I started to see Yahweh the Father of all in these places with me, I began to see Him indwelling in those around me…

St. Francis related to God personally, but he also saw Yahweh revealed in everything else...everything ultimately becomes a metaphor for the divine. And you grab for metaphors to concretize the mystery that is now in everything and everywhere.

-Richard Rohr-

… He is my Chinese acupuncturist, shuffling around the room in his old slippers, who knows. He knows, exactly where to put each needle.

… He is my dear sister/friend, from the old country, who lives on a small pensioner’s budget and invites me along to generously feast at one of the best Chinese restaurants in town.

… He is my partner who takes our children into the magical world of storytelling. The stories are vivid escapes into unknown worlds. Stories that appear, like magic itself, as soon as he opens his mouth and not a second before.

… He is the music teacher in my daughter’s violin class. There he is, patiently teaching all his new artists. Dearest bless.

…He is my brother-in-law diligently and quietly painting his watercolor landscapes in absolute contentment.

…He is the monk at the monastery who has mastered, in just a few years, the art of making one of the best ales on the West Coast.

“We rejoice and delight in you, we will praise your love more than wine”

Song of Songs 1:4

…He is my best friend at university who used to be in a gang but started again. He was studying social work and volunteering in care homes where he quietly knit with his elderly friends. He needs them as much as they need him.

…He is my friend in Sweden who studied biology and botany and loved walking in the muck in the woods collecting plants and bugs to study and delighted in telling you all about them. The joy he found in bugs and plants was otherworldly.

Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of your law.

Psalm 119:18

…He is my dear friend in Detroit who has a spice cupboard that would be the envy of any 5-star Michelin chef. She has curated the art of hosting and moderating difficult conversations around the dinner table.

…He is her husband, another dear friend, who freshly grinds his coffee beans every morning to make the perfect cup of black coffee and dies a small death if a friend adds a touch (just a touch) of cream to the perfect brew. He has also mastered the perfect pizza. His sourdough bread is made with the precision of an engineer. Eating and being in community with these two is a feast at Yahweh’s table.

…Having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints.

Ephesians 1:18

And He is those comedians; Trevor Noah, Mike McIntyre, Drew Fralick, and the many others who are able to reveal our human ridiculous with healing laughter and unmask what is otherwise hidden.

Then Jesus laid his hands on his eyes again, and he opened his eyes, his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly.

Mark 8:25

God is love? Meh. Those words are about as empty as the one who tells another they are loved but doesn’t show up.

Rather, Yahweh, Abba, Jehovah; The One who sees us and who shows up. The One who inspires. The One who feasts and serves us. The one who laughs…

…yet, you will only see Him if you open your eyes.

Go on. You were made to meet your maker.

REFERENCES

Heiser, Michael, The Unseen Realm: Recovering the Supernatural Worldview of the Bible

Daly, Mary, Beyond God the Father: Towards a Philosophy of Women's Liberation

Mumford and Sons, Awake My Soul: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EQzCoF7uA8

The history of Yahweh’s name simply described by the bible project see: //www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLrGM26pmM0

For further reading see: Richard Rohr, The Art of Letting Go, Living the Wisdom of St. Francis