I prepared for fatherhood by procrastinating. With weeks to go before the arrival of our first child I sat down to binge watch five seasons of a popular TV show. Though I had a job and other responsibilities, any remaining free time I filled with this show, to distract me from the fact that life would soon change in large and irreversible ways.

In fact, almost every large turning point in my life has been accompanied by some form of avoidance. I’ve distracted myself and procrastinated, which all stems from fear.

We are taught that fear primarily manifests as terrified screaming, like in a horror movie. But we underestimate the prevalence of fear presenting as paralysis. We never get started on things that are important. We put them off because they’re too scary to handle, and though we don’t fully realize we’re doing it, we find a thousand tiny other things to do instead of the thing before us.

This is not laziness, it’s fear. Fear that if we begin to work on the important thing, the outcome is going to suck. Why focus on our health, when we’ve ignored it for so long? Exercise will be painful, a change in diet is unappealing, drinking less alcohol sounds like a bummer.

Why write a show or a book? Or make some art or write a new song?

Why get your finances in order? Start investing? Or clean out your attic? Or learn an instrument or teach your kid how to read?

Why do any of these things when the outcome is going to suck? And make no mistake, it IS going to suck. When you begin something new it is almost always going to be bad, initially. Your movements will be awkward, your steps will be unsteady. You will not look graceful doing this new thing.

The first version of what you create will be mediocre. In fact, mediocrity is almost a prerequisite for making something good. It is a sign that something’s happening.

Procrastination and paralysis keeps us from passing through the waters of mediocrity on our way to the promised land. We wait and we put the thing off until time runs out. Ironically, avoiding this mediocrity all but guarantees that the end result of our efforts will be just so-so.

Doing poorly because we waited too long is another form of powerful avoidance. Somehow, deep down, we can comfort ourselves by the thought that we didn’t try as hard as we could have. We never gave it one hundred percent, we never went all out.

For if WE HAD gone all in and still failed, the results would be devastating. Then it would be clear that we, truly, don’t measure up. Even our best is not good enough. How hard of a dose of reality would that be to swallow?

So we erect barriers to doing well, or even doing anything at all. All of the above mentioned fears remain buried deeply under the surface, and we continue on in our endless paralysis and distractions. We settle for smaller dreams, and only attempt what will yield near immediate success and instant gratification. All the while unwilling to see that within us are the seeds of something truly special.

Overcoming Procrastination