It's Not Like I'm Going Crazy...

*Lained - pronounced “lie-en-id” 

I enjoy a few laineds on the weekend, just like everybody else, sure. A lot of times I’ll have just one lained after work, before dinner, just to unwind. I mean, if it’s been a really tough day I’ll have like one or two, but no more than that. It’s not like I’m going crazy or anything. 

But sometimes when you’re out somewhere, you just want a lained. On a hot day, or down at the ballpark, it’s just perfect. 

Or a cold day, when you’re all bundled up inside and there’s nowhere to go, just cozy and having a lained, that’s the best.

Or a temperate day, when it’s neither hot nor cold. Those are so rare. Yep…. we don’t get too many days like these anymore, so enjoy them while they last. Which calls for a lained…

Or a sunny day or a rainy day. ..

… Or an overcast day when the world is looking glum. When you’re feeling sad. I’ve got some lained in the fridge that I’m trying to get rid of. Yeah it’s taking up too much space, let’s knock these out and figure out where to go from here. 

Like I mentioned, lained’s not something I think that much about, but I do enjoy it from time to time. It goes with me wherever I am. And if I’ve got a few spare minutes, like waiting for the next train or using the restroom, I like to just glance down at lained for a few minutes and get caught up. Of course, it’s not ideal but what am I supposed to do instead? All those awkward little snippets of time - two minutes here, thirteen minutes there. It doesn’t add up to much really. 

Lained is just something I do for fun. As a hobby. Lots of people have different hobbies, so it’s not that big of a deal. People paint. People dance. I do lained. Do I always win with lained? Of course not, but that’s part of the fun. 

And you see these stories on the news that are so heartbreaking. About people going way overboard with lained. They ruin their whole life, their families. You feel bad for the kids of these people. Growing up without their parents. Let’s be honest, it ruins entire communities, which is sad.

I just don’t get it man. People’s lack of self control. I mean, have some lained, enjoy it, but don’t let it get out of control. Look at me, I didn’t let it take over my whole life or very subtly chip away at all the meaningful moments God has gifted me on this planet. 

I use it to help me sleep at night. I have anxiety so I need it. Besides it’s legal now, so why even bring it up? Lained is natural. It’s from the earth. Do you think God would give us something that was bad for us? 

And it’s been tested by the government. Our leaders have endorsed it. It’s been approved for use in the general public. It’s safe and effective. 

Lained is something I go to when I’m lonely and insecure. When I need a release. I have some once in a while, like at a barbecue or a picnic or alone in the bathroom with the door locked. 

They’ve got it on your phone now. It’s very convenient. “Anytime, Anywhere” is the motto of lained. And besides all the money they make off it goes to support our public schools. 

“A little lained at work never hurt anybody”, says my Uncle who used to drive a forklift. It’s harmless and fun. A good way to connect with other people. 

Yeah sure, I’ll openly admit it, I enjoy having lained from time to time. But not too much. It’s not like I’m going crazy like some people out here. Heheh.